It sounds so easy. Ask, Believe, Receive. Just ask and the Universe will deliver right? Wrong. Manifesting skills require some knowledge and discipline.
This is why I have a love/hate relationship with the movie “the Secret”.
It’s wonderful that it introduced a whole slew of people to the law of attraction and manifesting, but it seriously sugar coated the whole thing and sprinkled it with some fairy dust.
If I had five bucks for every person that said manifesting doesn’t work for them or the law of attraction doesn’t work for them, I’d own an Island in the Caribbean.
And the irony is the people who claim it isn’t working, are the best examples of the law in effect. You get what you focus on and feel internally.
Why Manifesting Hasn’t Been Working in Your Favor
I was one of the greatest skeptics when it came to the Law of Attraction and manifesting.
Sure I believed it worked, just not for me.
What I wasn’t noticing in all my feeling sorry for myself, is that the law was definitely working and I was manifesting like an Olympian. Seriously, I could have been winning Gold Medals if manifesting were an Olympic sport.
The problem is that I was manifesting crap. Despite the fact that I wanted great things, I had a great plan, and I was working my tail off to achieve my version of success, my inner critic had other ideas.
All the self-limiting beliefs, doubts, and feelings that were swimming around in my head were drowning out any chance of high vibes or good results.
And in the midst of it, I couldn’t see it.
I thought I had already tackled and crushed the things and beliefs that were holding me back. Looking back at all the things I manifested, I now know better.
What Are Manifesting Blocks?
I hear the terms blocks thrown around like confetti and I have to confess, it’s not my favorite phrase. I use it on occasion because SEO likes it and it ranks well.
But in all honesty, calling them blocks by it’s very nature is kind of self-defeating.
Whether people believe it or not, they are always manifesting. Their TRUE internal gauge is determining if what comes is what they want, or what they don’t want.
And people don’t like to admit how much time they spend thinking about all the things they don’t want.
Worry, Doubt, Second-guessing, Panic, Stress, Apathy, Pessimism.
These are the low vibe emotions that manifest all the crap we don’t want in life.
So instead of blocks, think of manifesting like driving down a freeway. When you’re in the right lane, you are manifesting good things. Life is going well.
But when you veer into the left lane, you start manifesting crap, like driving into oncoming traffic. You’d rather be in the right, going with the flow.
You’re always moving forward. There is no stopping. But your emotions, thoughts and beliefs determine which lane you are in.
Common Self-Sabotage
I’ve found after years of coaching, that many people struggle in the same areas when it comes to manifesting better, or life in general.
- Mindset
- Limiting Beliefs
- Relationships
- Emotions
- Body/Self-Image
- Habits
- Environment
When we learn to identify and admit that something is awry in a certain area, it becomes 100x easier to address the issue and start seeing real results.
As with many things in life, denial is half the battle. Some people purposely deny but many are simply oblivious to the real issue at hand.
This is why investing in a mindset coach can shave years off your learning and earning curve in business or help you get to a place of happiness that you haven’t seen in years.
What is a Healthy Mindset
This ties into to self-limiting beliefs but for the sake of this article I’m going to keep them slightly separate.
Let me ask you a few questions.
- Are you easily upset, distressed, or worrisome when life is handing you lemons or unexpected events?
- Do you assume that bad things will happen to you?
- On a scale of 1 to 10 how capable are you of changing your life for the better in any area?
People with a healthy mindset are optimistic most of the time. They assume good things are coming and would answer with a 9 or 10 that they have the ability to change any area of their life if they choose to.
These are the people we know that seem “lucky” or “always have good fortune”.
Manifesting is easier for people with a healthy mindset because they stay in the right lane and go with the flow most of the time.
A healthy mindset says, “even if I don’t know how to do this or accomplish that, I will figure it out.” And because they believe that whole heartily, the universe delivers.
Self-Limiting Beliefs Sabotage
This is by and far the space I spend the most time coaching. If people pay for my services, clearly their mindset is at least healthy enough to believe they can be/do/have/pursue a better life.
Limiting Beliefs can come from a myriad of places but most of them are lugged up from our childhood or engrained during a traumatic life event.
Parents, teachers, television, communities as a whole can effect our beliefs. We grow up believing certain things about our lives, our abilities, and especially around our ideas surrounding money.
When we see our parents or other trusted loved ones model a certain behavior in front of us, or repeat phrases over and over, we can tuck them away in a virtual pocket in the mind. We don’t realize it, but we often draw from that memory bank before making any decision around similar events.
Sometimes these ideas were formed as a method of self-preservation but our minds refuse to discard them even when they no longer serve us or become outdated.
The Danger of Holding on to Self-Limiting Beliefs
Once something is embedded in our subconscious, and we are convinced it’s truth, we will FIGHT to hang onto it, even when it hurts us.
Makes no sense right?
Take making money for example. Our grandparents grew up in a completely different income model than we are living in right now, yet schools still teach that good grades, college, and ladder climbing are the way to go.
That USED to be truth.
The student loan debt crisis should be an eye-opening, jaw-dropping truth BOMB. That belief is old and outdated. There are now many of other ways to earn a much better financial living.
Is college bad? No. But thinking it’s the answer to financial freedom is just ignorant. It’s not even in the top three ways of earning money today.
People and Relationships
The people we allow into our lives make a huge impact on our beliefs, our environment, and most importantly our emotions.
People have a whole lot of influence on some of the areas of our lives. So it’s super important that we monitor who we let in, who we kick out, and who we keep at arms length.
Ultimately, you are responsible for how you feel. So while people may alter your circumstances or push your trigger buttons, it’s still up to you to decide how you’ll react.
This becomes much easier when you are selective about who you devote your time to.
If being around certain people does not make you feel good, feels like constant drama or maintenance, then you likely need to snip some people loose and not feel bad about it.
People come and go. I’ve been very sad to lose some people in my life but if it’s not working from one end, it’s honestly not working from either.
Choose your friendships, relationships, and even co-workers or employers wisely. And if something has run it’s course and no longer works for you, SNIP it loose and move forward.
Your Emotions and Manifesting
This is why ask, believe, receive drives me a little bonkers.
The believing part is extremely difficult to do if you haven’t been taught to manage your emotions and curb doubting thoughts.
Because as soon as you drift into that left lane, your manifestation takes a nose dive into oncoming traffic and instead of the dream you get the nightmare.
If your circumstances are at the wheel of your car, you are in BIG TROUBLE.
And what emotions could completely sabotage you? Fear, Worry, Doubt, Jealousy, Resentment…etc.
To bring it full circle for you, guess where the majority of our emotions come from?….Our beliefs. Those things we identify as truth that affect all of our decisions.
Those babies tell us how to react to our circumstances until we train ourselves, condition ourselves, just like an athlete would to react the way that serves us best. To consistently FEEL the way that empowers our dreams instead of crushing them.
How Do You See Yourself?
Your self-image matters a whole lot. You don’t need validation from others, even though it’s nice to hear.
That little voice in your head though, the one that’s always with you 24/7, you definitely need that character on your team.
We all have our quirks, or things we’d like to change about our appearance. I remember after having baby number one, I felt like I hit the jackpot by returning to my pre-baby body in weeks. Baby number two, slight changes but totally acceptable.
When my twins were born I thought I was falling apart, literally. My hair was falling out, my skin was misbehaving, I suddenly had cellulite, my emotions were a train wreck.
I saw myself as broken.
And this goes so much farther than external appearances.
Do you think your capable, strong, honest, witty, smart? Do you attach positive traits to yourself, or do you only identify things that are “wrong or broken”.
Your inner voice needs to be on your team most of the time. It should only scold or correct you when you are making poor choices.
In short, LOVE YOURSELF.
You can get a really cool book all about this here.
Habits Equal Results
Some of those mundane things we do and think every single day are what prevent us from manifesting greatness into our lives.
If fact, it’s often what has us manifesting junk.
The key to success is found in our daily life. I teach this in my short course in Optimism, and both of the courses in my signature line.
Habits are habits for a reason.
You can read about 9 you should ditch if you want success, right here.
We feel triggered by something, which causes us to do/say/feel a specific things which equals the reward we get from that action or thought.
The problem lies in that we are often triggered by negative things or addictive things and the reward is often one of low value.
We have to unteach ourselves and relearn new habits that reap greater results and rewards. This is easier said than done. If you recognize that you have habits that are not serving you, I strongly encourage you to hire a mentor or coach to help you work through this so you can live a life with better results.
Nature vs Nurture: Your Environment Matters
If you are surrounded by drama at work, home, school, television, etc…that drama will start boiling in your head like a pressure cooker.
I always advise ALL of my clients to do a thorough decluttering of their favorite room in their house. Your bedroom should feel like an oasis.
Your bathroom a spa, and your closet should flow with ease. These are the places you start and end your day. Less clutter=more peace of mind.
But you also need to declutter your sources of input. The movies, shows, music, and materials you read all need an overhaul. The people you hang with was mentioned above.
People who binge on reality television or watch soap operas aren’t doing their mental health any favors. This points back to the trigger and reward issues. People watch this stuff because it often makes them feel better or more functional in their own lives. But it’s such a poor use of time.
Financially and emotionally successful people don’t make time for such nonsense. Their outlets and forms of entertainment don’t feed drama or their ego. They engage in hobbies and entertainment that feed their highest self.
Manifesting Skills for Blocks
When I’m coaching I have my clients go through a “blueprint” exercise to identify where they are in comparison to where they want to be in certain areas of life that impact us the most.
After 15+ years of doing this work, and working with tons of different personalities I have found that some methods only work for a few and a few of the methods work for nearly all.
Visualization
This is one of the easier forms of working through a block because many people are extremely good at daydreaming, and for those who aren’t, guided visualizations are a helpful tool.
If you are prone to assuming the worst or are drawn to worry very easily, visualization might prove difficult for you in the beginning.
PRO TIP: Be careful how you come out of a visualization exercise. You want the vibes to last, not be squashed by “reality” as soon as you’ve finished. Email me if you want more hints around making this work for you.
Affirmations
I was the GREATEST skeptic when it came to affirmations.
I stand corrected.
After 9 days of listening to Jason Stephenson affirmations, I was definitely waking up in a better mood, and I was falling asleep faster.
How do I know affirmations were responsible for this? See next step!
Journaling
I was keeping track of the different things I was trying on my manifesting/self-development journey. I was able to see the difference affirmations were making in my writing after only 9 days. It continually got even better.
When I try a new habit, I always give it a go for 90 days. I never discredit something after a week or two. It takes a while to know if something is truly working or not.
But journaling helps you identify what is working and isn’t working because we often mindlessly write down our thoughts and feelings about something and then when we reflect on it we can see the progress or lack of.
Scripting
When I journal I tend to add some visualization to the process and do what is referred to as scripting. This is basically writing your life out as you want it to be in the near future, but writing it in present tense like it’s currently happening to you in the present.
The reason scripting can work so well if you get good at it, is that it really puts you in a high vibe state and you start treating yourself better than average. You begin to live as the the person you want to be regardless of current circumstances.
When you can do this repeatedly, you quickly increase your manifesting muscles and the speed at which your desires show up.
Ho’oponopono
This is the Hawaiian practice of forgiveness.
Grudges and bad mojo are ginormous obstacles to success, happiness, and manifesting.
Ho’oponopono is what I like to call simply difficult.
The words are simple. The action of saying them is simple. Making the list of things/people/events that need forgiving simple.
Actually forgiving and going through all the feels, difficult.
Make a list of every single thing that still bugs you, harbors resentment in your mind. This list should include other people, events, and yourself for as far back as you can remember. Petty, big deal, doesn’t matter. List it all.
(My original list around money blocks was 5 pages long- and that was just around money)
Then you read each one off one at a time and say, “I love you. I forgive you. I’m sorry. Thank you.”
It’s incredibly difficult to mean the words at first. Especially when you feel wronged, have never received an apology, and yet here you sit trying to forgive and say Thank you! WHAT?
But the work is about you, Forgiveness always is. And you can be thankful for lessons learned and sift good from the bad…if you want inner peace and success bad enough.
You don’t get to scratch an item off the list until it truly does not bother you anymore. Some items will get scratched in a week or two, others will take much longer.
If you’d rather hang on to your resentment or grudges, because you feel justified, you should fork over the investment it takes to hire me and we’ll work through that nonsense.
Make Manifesting Easier
So to wrap this up, if you want to manifest more money, a better relationship, better fitness, more friends, a better spiritual walk, travel, or simply a free milkshake, you have to get really good at identifying your “blocks” and removing them.
You don’t get to skip this part and a whole lot of people want to because working through them requires an emotional investment. Relearning new habits isn’t always easy.
But once you get help finding the snags, working through them, and building a new energy and vibe around what it is you really want, manifesting becomes EASY and FUN.
xoxo-Deanna