Problems and Solutions
Hey Friends! I hope you are having an amazing day. The sky is so blue this morning I can’t help but smile. It’s funny how the weather can affect our moods. Ok, onto today’s topic. I am pretty passionate about solution seeking.
I will be writing many articles about this down the road because helping people find solutions is awesome. Today, I wanted to touch base on just a few things about this topic in general.
Reality. All people have problems. No one has a perfectly flawless life. The people you encounter that appear to have perfection don’t. They have hiccups and adversities the same as the rest of us.
The difference is that they have either mastered their emotions thus limiting the time frame a problem lasts, or they have learned a skill set that has enabled them to work solutions quickly.
Problems or Solutions- You Choose
Almost all people fall into one of two categories in this area. There are problem-oriented people and solution-oriented people. The gray area here is microscopic. What do I mean by this? Well as noted above, all people have problems.
Most people try to solve their problems (yes there are a few drama addicted people who cause total destruction on purpose). The problem-oriented people struggle, while the solution-oriented people often come out smelling like fresh baked cookies. What gives? Well, attitude, habits, experiences, and your emotional quotient all come into play.
[bctt tweet=”Attitude, habits, experiences, and your emotional quotient all come into play.” username=””]
“But I don’t want to have problems and I try really hard to get everything running smoothly. Why is my life still so difficult? Why are things not going my way? I am trying to make things better. When will things stop being so mediocre for me?” Sound familiar?
[bctt tweet=”they have either mastered their emotions thus limiting the time frame a problem lasts” username=””]
Thriving or Surviving
If you have read my about me page, you know that I believe all people deserve miracles. Life is meant to be more than average. Yet, when I look around I notice a huge majority of people are really miserable and struggling, some are numb and going through the motions, and a small fraction seems to be thriving.
Listed below are just a few of the key differences between the two types of people. I’ll refer to the groups as PO (problem-oriented) and SO (solution-oriented).
PO’s: Ruminate and talk to as many friends and relatives as possible. They want to hear as many people as possible agree with or at least listen to their views of the situation. They often receive advice from well-wishing friends but are unlikely to take it, or worse take advice from people who are in the same boat as they are thus not eliminating the problem.
SO’s: Run through a mental list of possible solutions to the problem. Weigh the pros and cons to each and select the one with the highest likelihood of success. Reach out to someone who has already tackled and overcome a similar issue. If the solution is not getting results in a set time frame they go to plan b, then c, then d, whatever it takes to get a viable answer. They do not give up.
Surround Yourself With Solutions
You have probably heard that birds of a feather flock together. Well if you are struggling with various issues and you go to your near and dear friends, chances are you won’t get a solution.
You’ll get some understanding and support. You’ll get a temporary sense of relief because someone heard you out. But can broke Betty help you figure your way out of debt? Not likely or she wouldn’t be broke. Recently divorced Debbie will not be shelling out save your marriage advice anytime soon. Though she may try.
[bctt tweet=”They go to plan b, then c, then d, whatever it takes to get a viable answer. They do not give up.” username=””]
It’s very likely that you have some friends that are in a more positive place. People you may not see often. One of the most difficult aha moments was when I realized that some of my better friends had kind of cut me loose because of my negativity. They liked me but I was in such a poor me state of mind and was stuck in victim mode.
I looked back and thought, wow, no wonder. These people were solution oriented and I was reliving my problems day in and day out. Suddenly I was like Gru from Despicable Me. Lightbulb!
I had to relearn how to be around these people without driving them away because they were part of the influence and solution I was looking for. If you spend enough time around really charged up individuals, you can’t help but catch a new attitude.
Attitudes and Solutions
PO: Escapism. Binge drinking, eating the whole box of cookies, watching a marathon of Netflix all weekend, shopping, and then letting these become habit. These things become a part of the regular routine.
I have been here. Mine was exercise. Sounds healthy right? Wrong. Five hours a day going full blast to exhaust myself to the point where I had no energy left to feel any emotions. They were still waiting for me the next day and I’d do it all over again. I was completely shredded and looked amazing but the trouble and pain brewing on the inside was not getting solved.
Problem-oriented people stay in their escape mode far longer than they should. Weeks turn into months and years. (Think addiction, this is a negative form of escape.)
SO: Escapism. Taking a bubble bath, going for a walk, getting a manicure, enjoying some live music, learning a new skill or hobby. Solution oriented people still like to escape but they don’t do it to bury or ignore a problem. They do it to take their mind off of it temporarily so they can recharge and tackle things head on.
Escape for the Right Reasons
All people escape and it works, until it doesn’t. You can only continue ignoring something for so long before it (or you) just explodes. Solution oriented people embrace moments where they walk away long enough to gather some momentum. They know the only true way out of a problem is through it. They take a quick break so they can power through the b.s and be done with it.
[bctt tweet=”Solution oriented people embrace moments where they walk away long enough to gather some momentum.” username=””]
Problem-oriented people embrace many methods of escape in the hopes the problem will just disappear.
Most forms of escape that become habits will only build on an existing issue ten-fold like;
- Drinking beer every night after work to decompress instead of finding out why you need to decompress in the first place.
- Binge shopping to feel better about yourself only to fight with your spouse about mounting credit card debt.
- Dumping someone to avoid working through a solution only to start the exact same problem six months into the new relationship.
For those of you who like solutions, results, and positive changes stay tuned.
My opt-in freebie is coming out soon (Update Get the Challenge Here) and it will challenge you to change your focus, attitude, and reap the rewards. Let’s improve our luck, our love, and our lives!
xoxo-Deanna
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