Gradual Change
I like results. Even more than that, I like results that last. When trying to improve your luck, your love, your life, I support that gradual change is the answer for those seeking lasting positive results.
I was scrolling through Forbes magazine a while back, and I came across an article written by a young woman who argued that radical change was far more effective than gradual change. She had even written a follow-up piece supporting her original claim. She up and moved on a self-described whim from Los Angeles to New Orleans, a city she had never even visited.
I say self-described because in her second article she admitted she was suffering career boredom and had just ended a semi-serious relationship. To me, that’s less of a whim and more of a “get me out of here” kind of bolt. Chances are her character was one that was not resistant to change in the first place. Her radical change was successful in her mind because she was open to it, and on a deeper level probably even craved it.
Change is Difficult
You’ve met the type I’m sure. When things are going wrong or feel stale, they jump ship and dramatically alter their relationships, locations, or jobs without thinking too far ahead. For some, it works out and for others, it’s a chaotic mess. What tends to be misleading is the perception of change that hasn’t actually happened.
They enter a new relationship and things are good for a while. They move to a new city and the newness and sparkle are temporary. Miss New Orleans argued that radical change forces you to be brave and embrace a new identity. I disagree unless you are eighteen and leaving home to actually find your true identity.
The Reasons for Change Matter
A new city, relationship, or job is a radical change even when well planned. These changes can be good and even necessary depending on the circumstances. When used as a mechanism of growth and forward progress the results can be good.
But what happens when a person makes these decisions in haste as a way of escape? Those people who suffer from staleness and need a sense of wanderlust. The people who always want to fall in love but can’t manage to stay in love. Friends come and go. The ones who get bored in a job every year or two.
What usually happens, is the change doesn’t last because it is external. What they are truly seeking is internal but they have taken the easy route of forcing an external change instead. The consistent newness of each job, relationship, or location temporarily eases their anxiety from a deeper issue.
Have you ever noticed some people tend to go full-throttle and then quit if they don’t get results in a short amount of time? New Year’s and dieting is a great example. Successful change rarely happens like this.
Internal and External Change
Nature is a graceful and wise teacher. The way that trees and plants become beautiful involves a strategic and slow change under the earth’s surface. Sure they take in external measures from the sun, rain, and outside environment. But the magic that creates the beauty on the outside actually occurs well below the surface. I’m on nature’s team all the way.
[bctt tweet=” But the magic that creates the beauty on the outside actually occurs well below the surface” username=””]
Real change that is positive and lasting requires many smaller steps over the course of time. It requires a gentle shift in habits, not a drama induced external plunge.
So what about those of us looking for the real change and not the dramatic radical free fall? Some people want the lasting, positive change but aren’t sure where to start.
Change that is Successful
Gradual change should not be so slow that it never really occurs or drives you into giving up. I’ll use fitness as an example. We’ve all seen at least one person who diets and exercises hardcore for about three weeks. They suffer through salads and calorie counting or low-carb alternatives. They sweat and whine through 60-minute cardio sessions with their motivated best friend.
Some results show but because it required a fairly drastic change to their typical routine, they can’t maintain for long. The effort slides and the result is an ugly, fast return to start. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.
What if instead of the calorie counting and sweat til you puke sessions, you made a few small tweaks. Commit to a ten-minute workout every lunch hour. Eat what you normally eat for lunch and dinner but plan a protein-packed breakfast.
The results may take longer to show up but the habits are maintainable. Slowly the body responds not just physically but emotionally as well. Soon you want to workout fifteen instead of ten. Perhaps you eat less at lunch because you enjoyed breakfast so much. You stay committed and proud of yourself. You don’t jump ship because the changes were small but measurable. Gradually you gain confidence and take another step in the right direction.
The 90 Day Guide to Change
So how do you make lasting gradual changes to various areas of your life? I like to break things down into what I call the 90 rule. I’ll try something for 90 days. If it yields positive results I stick with it and take it a small step further unless I have already reached my bliss point. If it doesn’t I try something else. You can apply these changes to any area of your life. Below are a little compare and contrast.
[bctt tweet=” If it yields positive results I stick with it and take it a small step further unless I have already reached my bliss point.” username=””]
Change is a Matter of the Mind and Habit
Hannah and Heather are both in debt with credit cards, student loans, and car payments. Hannah decides to get a second job, create a strict budget, cancel her extracurricular activities, and cash out her meager savings to put toward her car loan. In a few short months, she is burnt out from working, not seeing her friends, and trying to stick to an unrealistic budget. Many things have come up and her attitude is one of defeat.
Heather traded in her full size newer SUV for a midsize car. This lowered her payments by $135 and her insurance by another $40/month. She also pledged to stop eating out for three months and apply all of the extra money she saved by eating at home to her credit card debt. At three months she sees she is making progress and has decided she can kick it up a notch by canceling her gym membership and working out for free with a couple of friends. Small gradual habits can add up to big positive steps in whatever direction you are trying to go.
Change Occurs in the Present
A wise man once said,”Stop thinking of the five or ten-year plan. Don’t even worry about a year from now. Think of one thing you can do today that is a single step toward what you are trying to achieve“.
This may be something as simple as doing one set of thirty jumping jacks because you haven’t worked out in years and are wanting to start with something that isn’t going to have you calling the ambulance in 20 minutes.
Maybe it’s watching fifteen minutes less television today to read with your children. Choose something that feels attainable and right for you.
[bctt tweet=” Think of one thing you can do today that is a single step toward what you are trying to achieve” username=””]
Small steps forward are still forward. Huge steps forward often have a rubber band effect that slings us back to where we started, or worse. Of course, there are always exceptions.
I encourage you today to pick one area you are trying to improve and pick just one step you can take forward. In the near future, I will share how I used my 90-day strategy to shift to a more positive mindset.
xoxo-Deanna