Most people are lucky to have a handful of serious, there through thick and thin, whether any kind of storm friends. The traits that make the difference between a casual friend and a best friend depends on what the recipient values.
There isn’t anything wrong with casual buddies and many of you probably have 300 or so on FaceBook. But we also need a duo or trio of really reliable people we can turn to when the going gets tough.
The natural tendency when people read a list like this is to start going through their mental list of friends. She really does #4 well. He is lacking at #19. Wow, she meets more than half of these.
[bctt tweet=” Real friends sing your praises and compliment you whenever the opportunity presents itself.” username=””]
I’d like to encourage you to see how many apply to you as a friend.
None of us are perfect and we all have our strengths and weaknesses. Improving the way we treat our valued friendships usually nets great returns. You should never regret treating someone well! So go be your best you. Please share below on the traits you find most attractive in a friend or in yourself.
This is by no means a comprehensive list.
15 Traits of Great Friends
- They encourage you. The word encourage literally means, “to give courage”. Real friends are your support and encouragement when you doubt yourself or have fears.
- They don’t condemn you. Chin up! Great friends don’t harshly judge your shortcomings, failures, or mistakes. Even if they would have done something differently, they don’t preach at you.
- They reach out. Withdrawing from others is a major red flag of someone hurting. Great friends know when to call or stop by. They won’t let your couch swallow you into the abyss.
- They say good things about you behind your back. Real friends sing your praises and compliment you whenever the opportunity presents itself. They have your back and all your other sides.
- They call you out when you’re trying too hard. Great friends aren’t afraid to tell you when you’ve been burning the candle at both ends. They recognize when you’re frazzled and need relief. They can help you relax and let go every now and again.
- They’re reliable. Everyone has to cancel from time to time but real friends make it a rare instance. Great friends are there when they say they will be. They don’t pop in and out of your life when it’s convenient.
- They hear you. Real friends listen. They offer advice when asked but they intuitively know when you just need someone to hear you out.
- They share. Great buds aren’t one-sided sounding boards. They also share their good and bad moments with you too.
- They protect you. Your reputation, your dignity, your values. Real friends stand up for you and pick you up when you’re in the trenches. They help you extinguish fires and bust out the first aid kit when needed.
- They don’t ditch you for other friends. Yes, they can make new friends without your friendship suffering…gasp!
- They are not afraid of the “scary” you. When you are at your worst, they love you anyway (which sometimes is tough love). Great friends accept your flaws along with the perks.
- But they keep you humble. Real friends won’t let things go to your head. They help you keep things in perspective after a good celebration.
- They invite you on adventures. These people want to grow and share experiences with you. Great friends are a genuine, irreplaceable part of your life. They want you to be included in some of their best memories.
- They make your friendship a priority. All relationships have a natural ebb and flow. When the tide heads out for a short while, they pull it back in. They don’t let the busy tendencies of life stand in the way of the bond.
- They forgive. Mistakes and poor judgment happen from time to time. A real friend will have the courage to sit down and hash it out, not gossip or turn their backs.
From my experience, I can say that my real friends were always the ones who encouraged me to be a better version of myself, while not making me feel inadequate.
The way they treat me encourages me to reflect on my own personality traits and make sure I have as much to offer in return. I never want to be the friend who takes and doesn’t give. My traits may not be the same as theirs. A big ole’ Shout Out to the few people who really have my back. Love you guys!
xoxo-Deanna
P.S. Here is a great article written by fellow blogger Sarah K about friendship. http://www.sarahkoontz.com/cultivating-enduring-friendships/